WE ARE BACK! And NO LONGER WITHOUT CLOTHES! This is a "good" thing.


Fall 2008 - Well many things are going on at The Blur of Insanity. Unfortunately none of them has motivated us to update the site recently - although this is, in a sense, a warning that we just might. Frankly when GoLive got dropped by Adobe we weren't too psyched about Dreamweaver. But we have since updated all the site masters (unpleasant work), so it seems an update may actually be possible now. So look out. Also, we won an Emmy Award - but not for anything we can tell you about. In fact, all of us keep a firewall between the legitimate shows we do and Blur, except for those of us held hostage by MTV (MTV is NOT the easiest company to work with). So, why our silence and bi-polar-ness? This is called being wise - because many in the professional world do not appreciate our humor as much as we do. No, they really don't

REMINDER - Buy the move at:
Random picture is random...


The DVD is available on Amazon! But you can tell that already! Click on almost any image in this column for magical transport (with Neo and Trinity) across the void of cyberspace!


Oh, it's fall. Time ticks steadily forward, and who knows how this will all end. Maybe it will end with an actual - real update, maybe we will become be-decked in WEB 2.0 interface elements, - or, well, maybe not.

THE NEW MISSION in BAGHDAD!(RIDICULOUSLY OLD FEATURE)
Now that Saddam is actually "long dead" this is really out of date. Time for a replacement! CLICK HERE

HEROIN COCAINE MAKEOVER!
Looking for that trim cadaverous look? The Blur of Insanity is here to help you with a wonderful holiday makeover! CLICK HERE FOR OUR SECRET BEAUTY TIPS!

BLUR DVD THREAT GROWS!
Word of mouth appears to be pretty good. Here are some e-mail's we've gotten! CLICK HERE TO READ A FEW OF THE REVIEWS!

Miss BLUR of INSANITY
Again, it is time to cause you pain. Yes, you must look at her. You must see Miss Blur of Insanity! CLICK HERE FOR YOUR SPRING FLING!...



THE BLUR OF INSANITY MOVIE!!
Yes, it is now available on DVD we are shamelessly promoting it! Here is a page of information not just on the movie but how this all happened and why. This feature could also be titled "What the hell is the Blur of Insanity, who took all the LSD and came up with that website? Read The Blur of Insanity Story!

MISS BLUR OF INSANITY
Polar bears look at Miss Blur with envy, wishing they has been able to store up enough corpulent tissue for winter hibernation ! Click here!

SCARY BUT FASCINATING SCREENSHOT of THE BLUR OF INSANITY
This is a screenshot of the monitor on the editing machine while we were editing "reel#5" of the movie. Both educational and perplexing! CLICK HERE

WEB IDEAS IN BAD TASTE!
Sometimes we make true errors in judgment. Like the news story we ran about NYC being nuked by a small atomic bomb (we yanked it after a few hours). Perhaps that was a 'bad' idea. Well we have a place for that stuff. CLICK HERETO SEE BAD IDEAS!



THE TRAILER FOR THE MOVIE
This is just a test version.
Size: 7.5 mg (needs Quicktime)
Realtime with T1 Cable or DSL, or
10 minutes (approx.) with a 56 kps modem

CLICK HERE <---- OR ON POSTER IMAGE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRAILER for the MOVIE

Here's the latest Quicktime plug-in (this plug-in doesn't bite, as it plays just about every format (mpeg, avi, wav, etc. worth having anyway. And Reaplayer is the absolute worst:
CLICK HERE for QUICKTIME PLUG-IN MAC &WINDOWS

.

SCARY BUT FASCINATING SCREENSHOT of THE BLUR OF INSANITY
This is a screenshot of the monitor on the editing machine while we were editing "reel#5" of the movie. Both educational and perplexing! CLICK HERE
See "Who We Are" in DETAIL!
This might give you the clues necessary to figure out who was (is) boning who. CLICK HERE!No one figured out who boned who... well, we won't tell since no one guessed. Also, we can't say who did who as the "boners" and "bone-ees" have threatened to kill us! That is reason enough for us to keep quiet!

THE BLUR OF INSANITY FEATURE FILM PAGE
This is the page where there is info on the feature film. We also plan to have a very decadent party which will go on for about three days starting in New York City and ending up in Amsterdam (we'll have to board a jet midway through the party). We'll have a way for many of you to go to this sick mess. We may even invite some lucky BATF agents (if they are nice to us - and ignore the many laws of nature that will be broken at the party). As a prize, we'll give them beautiful actresses & maybe even a speaking role in the next movie!

The incredibly out-of-date STATUS of the FILM ! ( boy did we forget to update this page!)

THE STARS!!
Here are the main characters in the film. In this shot they want to kill the Director for making them wear mud-makeup (mud makeup is actually just, well....... mud). See the anger in their faces for yourselves!


Joshua Leonard star of The BLUR of INSANITY and THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
By now you probably have seen the Blair Witch, but did you know that Joshua Leonard is also the star of THE BLUR OF INSANITY'S feature film? Well you know it now. Here is a shot of Josh on location right after shooting the escort scene. CLICK HERE TO SEE FOR YOURSELF


DRINKS & SHOTS!
These are a few drink that are really good. We aren't going to overwhelm you with a ton of crap. You are mainly not going to go through that much effort to make a drink. These are just the best ones we know of, so you don't have to wade through too much boring, pointless stuff.

DRINKING GAMES!
There are really only 2 worth playing. One is simple and the other takes a bit more effort - decide which to play by how bored you are.

DWB (Drunk While Biking)
You should really read about the HORRORS of DRINKING and BIKING!!! (Yes, they're even trying to take THAT away from us now.)

HANGOVER CURES
You drank too much (as usual) and you wake up feeling like you fell down 4 flights of stairs. Death seems a better alternative. Well we have even more new hangover cures that will allow you to live again!


THE DRUG INFO PAGE
So we updated a lot of stuff. The Drug Info Page is revamped with new and exciting chemicals! We also warn you about the dangers of drugs (like we were your Mom). Remember - if you are dead from drugs (or are too stoned) you will have a hard time filling in the order form for the DVD. You might mistakenly order "The Blue Lagoon" which, though similar, is not the same movie! Do we promote drugs? Our lawyers say no!

BEAUTIFUL BONGS!
Bongs are your friends. Oddly (or maybe not) this is one of the most popular pages here!


CHEATING (Includes: 9 TERM PAPERS! These are recent and each received between an A+ and a B! Most have footnotes, etc. ) You have to get out of school somehow - without being kicked out for lousy grades. DO you have any idea what your Professors have been saying all semester? No. And why should you? They are all losers who failed at life, which is why they became Professors in the first place..


WHY COLLEGE IS
A WASTE OF TIME.
"Those who can… do!
Those who can't… teach!"
Though you are probably already aware of this, we thought we might reinforce that sneaking suspicion that you are wasting vast sums of money paying the salaries of Professors who have failed in the "real" world. So if they failed out there, how are they supposed to teach you how to succeed?? Read more! Click here!

THE FRESHMAN CHECKLIST
There are things freshmen need to bring with them that will help them make the most of their college experience. Click here to check it out.

SUMMER JOBS - ALWAYS KEY TO A GOOD SUMMER VACATION
Okay, we can't guarantee you the job on your right. We did this ourselves and it was great! What we can sort-of guarantee is that you can avoid flipping burgers. We have techniques for acquiring the more sought after summer jobs, plus suggestions for great jobs you may never have even heard of. Also suggestions for jobs that will both pay you, and possibly make it possible for you to have a future after college!
CLICK HERE FOR SUMMER JOBS

  • THE BLUR OF INSANITY MUSIC LIST
    You'll also want to have some new music to horrify/frighten your new roommate into leaving. This is a list of music we've found online that is weird and delicious.

    SPRING BREAK 2001 - (UPDATE NEVER CAME FOR 2002 - we were lazy!)
    After the depressing nightmare known as Valentine's Day the most important thing to do is go on Spring Break. We highly recommend going somewhere warm and really far away - who wants to go home and stare at Mom and Dad?! The Blur of Insanity's Cal Hanson looks into the best spots for Spring Break and picks the top two for this year. Be aware that MTV will be at one of these spots - and we want you to annoy them. Do we care that MTV will be angry with us? Nope!

    THE HARLEY TRIP FROM HELL
    (or "we drank too much and smoked dope and drove Harleys at 90 mph")
    We honestly suggest you never do this, frankly we thought we were going to die. Peer pressure made us not say anything to each other about just how stupid being completely wasted and riding at high speed on motorcycles that are barely controllable and weigh close to a ton! CLICK HERE to see the photos of those who are truly insane.

    ALASKA AIR CRASH RECORDING
    NEVER BEFORE PUBLIC !
    Now this is pretty damn scary. We got this from an exclusive source. This is from the control tower tape. You need Quicktime to hear this (did we mention that we HATE realplayer?). Eerie, scary, and a Blur of Insanity exclusive!
    CLICK HERE TO BE SCARED
    (we have a link to download quicktime on the page)

    THE FUTURE SUCKS
    The Blur of Insanity examines the new millennium and finds it... well... lacking.

    SPACE SHUTTLE CHALLENGER
    It blew up. Now hear what the crew said about it as they fell for twenty miles (hint: they weren't too happy). Truly Frightening!

    HOROSCOPES! FREE!
    Yes, we have a horoscope page (since all the other big useless sites have one, we decided to make our own - and it's 100% accurate). We aren't sure why. But we were amused for almost a whole hour by the idea of having a horoscope section - so here it is!

    THE 7 DEADLY SINS OF GILLIGAN
    We realized that people like this one, but we moved it off the main page. So look and see why the Island Paradise was really Dante's Inferno!

    OJ's work on Ron Goldman
    Police Photo. Not for the squeamish.

    OJ's work on Nicole
    Police Photo. What OJ does when angry.

    Humorous, and Weird things
    The contents of a college room. A girlfriend translator, etc.

    FAST FOOD HORROR
    Back to school means no more home cooking (unless you brought mom with you). Here's a reason to avoid fast food.

    LET DR. ZAIUS HELP DESTROY YOUR LOVE LIFE!
    Dr. Zaius has an iMac at his house in Ape City, and is willing to use his superior intellect to completely ruin your love life! This new 'featurette' is in anticipation of Valentine's Day (aka Flower Shop Blackmail Day). Ask Dr. Zaius almost any question. The best replies will be posted on Dr. Zaius's page. What will Dr. Zaius say? We have no clue. CLICK HERE TO GO TO DR. ZAIUS' PAGE

    SPRING SEX GUIDE
    This is a guide to getting over. Will it help you? Who can tell. If you play online games and consider yourself a 'dungeon master'- probably not. If you only spend half your time playing online games there may still be hope. Click here - because you must.

    HUMAN PENIS LENGTH CHART
    Here it is! Newly updated with more unique and odd information that shines the light on flaccid facts and engorges your mind with the truth! (Happy Adjective Day!). Should you order a DVD because of this? Your genitalia say "YES!" CLICK HERE TO SEE THE CHART

    Miss BLUR OF INSANITY!
    Time for love! Our Lovely Miss Blur will set your heart beating so fast that it is likely you will have a stroke. And that would be fortunate - as that will be the only way to be free from the image about to be burned into your retinas!!

    HONEST GUIDE TO ROMANCE !
    What is really going on with the sexes? Why does dating blow? What the hell do women want, and for that matter, what the hell do men want. Well, in true Blur of Insanity form, we'll tell you the truth. This is no useless Vogue/Cosmopolitan/Esquire type lying article. We'll tell you bluntly what the situation. Our overall opinion? If you want companionship, buy a dog.

    PLAYBOY-TV, a cable station which gives the same feeling you'd get going to a smelly, sticky old porn theater! Their original programming is so lame as to be an embarrassment. The most retarded is this show Night Calls where they put two stupid women on the phone talking to people at home whacking off in front of their TV's. If you wondered whether western civilization is in freefall.. this cable station answers with a resounding... 'Yes!' Note to Hugh Hefner - time to die already. Anyway we watched some of this stuff and let you know how we felt about it!
    CLICK HERE TO READ OUR ATTACK!

    AIDS ODDS
    Your odds of getting the 'nasty' sex disease! Find out if you will find strange and exciting cancers all over your body!

    VALENTINE'S DAY/VENEREAL DISEASE INFO-
    If you are boning rude disgusting slags, or if after a few drinks you end up waking up in mysterious bedrooms, you will at some point gain a disease. Even if it's only "Crabs." Now when you're wondering what the hell is going on in your "private area," you can know for sure! Happy Valentine's Day!


    FAKE ID IS ILLEGAL (and CRUCIAL) - Of COURSE, you'll need a good fake ID (for entertainment an novelty purposes only, of course.) This is not about getting a fake ID for anything illegal... Click here to read about it.

    Q:MP3 & NAPSTER. IS DOWNLOADING MUSIC A CRIME?
    A: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
    (NEW IMPROVED) Don't let the news media or 'Lars' fool you about Napster being dead! The cat is out of the bag on downloading music. There are many different ways to get it (can you say, OpenNap servers?). And we will help you! And why will we help you? We can say with certainty that just about every single person in the music industry is a scumbag. They are some of the lowest forms of human life (that is - except for the music company people we deal with!). In our opinion you couldn't pick a better group of people to screw over. So we are encouraging you to never, ever pay for a CD from one of the bigger labels- if it says Time-Warner on it, definitely don't ever pay for it! We suggest that you show your younger siblings how to download MP3 immediately so that the segment of people who might even think to buy any Brittany Spears or N'Sync CD's does not - which will result in less marketing money for those irritating groups. And maybe some of the smaller labels will actually succeed in getting better music out to you. This section is all about how to get that music, never pay a dime, and not to ever, ever, ever feel even the slightest bit guilty! CLICK HERE TO GET ALL THE INFO YOU NEED!

    The MP3 Section is revamped with links to software so you can download free music. The money you save on just one Metallica CD is reason enough to buy a Blur of Insanity DVD! (my, we are shameless whores, aren't we!)

    MIT LOCKPICKING GUIDE
    College isn't going so well. So maybe you should learn another trade? How about lock picking? This one if used improperly will certainly get you in trouble. When you are sitting in the back of a Police car (in handcuffs... crying), you will remember that you didn't get any of your ideas from here. Okay? Thank you.

    MOVIE PROP LINKS!
    These are links that have absolutely, positively nothing to do with us! These are high resolution pictures that bouncers can use to see if an ID is fake or not. Why are we doing this. Because we get so much damn e-mail it's sickening.

    BEAT A SPEEDING TICKET
    Ways to beat a speeding ticket, plus ways not to get one in the first place.
    Indispensable research tirelessly compiled by the Blur Staff.

    CHEATING
    (Includes: 9 TERM PAPERS! These are recent and each received between an A+ and a B! Most have footnotes, etc. ) You have to get out of school somehow - without being kicked out for lousy grades. DO you have any idea what your Professors have been saying all semester? No. And why should you? They are all losers who failed at life, which is why they became Professors in the first place..


    SICKLINKS has been fully revamped (and some of the links there are actually known to work)
    SickLinks are now newer - and sicker. Our reasons for adding a link to any page is related only to our own personal amusement. Our standards are, frankly, unexplainable. But our mental illness is your amusement!



    "Hello Gentlemen!"


    THERE SHOULD BE COUNTER HERE... but there isn't. HAVE YOU TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THIS SITE?
    YOU SHOULD - IT WILL MAKE US ENORMOUS!

    THE BLUR OF INSANITY STICKERS - GIVE-AWAY
    (FREE FOR ALL)
    We have some new stickers (an image should be ton the right) which we will give away free to the first 500 people who contact us. What you have to do is simple: 1. Send us a letter with your return address (where you want the stickers sent to) and on 33¢ stamp to cover postage. 2. Relax and have a drink while we send them to you, this should take about a week or so. 3. Our address is on the contest page below. 

    THE NOT REALLY NEW, EASILY WINNABLE CONTEST!
    (click here for the contest page)
    WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNER - Steve from Texas!
    and our SECOND WINNER - !!!!!!
    -WIN A BLUR OF INSANITY STAFF HAT - THE CONTEST IS SIMPLE: PUT THE WORDS "THE BLUR OF INSANITY" ON A LARGE (HUGE?) SIGN IN SOME PROMINENT PUBLIC PLACE - TAKE A PHOTO OF IT - SEND IT TO US WITH YOUR ADDRESS - AND YOU GET A HAT!!! (no photoshop fakes accepted)

    See the contest page for the detailed information.  



    We were mentioned on the Howard Stern Show. We are supposed to screen the film for them. We'll let you know when that happens.

    WHAT YOU WON'T FIND HERE... EVER!
     Updates that are on time!
    Pictures of the private parts of the film crew.
    A clear idea of what this site is about.
    Anything that makes much sense.

    ***If you e-mail us through a college-based network, be sure to double-check the "sender" address. Some e-mail systems use a default sender address. You won't get the reply, because mail can only be sent to specific e-mail addresses assigned to individuals. If you've sent us a question and didn't get an answer, we aren't ignoring you. We just don't have a valid address. Please try again, using your assigned, personal e-mail address. If you need help sending e-mail, contact your school's system administrator. We just found this out. Interesting, eh?***
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    BOOKMARK us! Find out if we get tossed in jail!
    (We have gotten our first call from Federal Agents. This is no longer so amusing to us.)


    ***HAPPY THOUGHT OF THE MONTH***
    Maybe someday we will get a moments peace!.

    Do you like these Flag pictures? We stole them from the White House website    !
    (your tax dollars at work!)

    WE ARE YOUR CENTRAL SOURCE OF SICK COLLEGE INFORMATION.
    NOTICE: This site and its providers are not promoting any activities found on this site. This site is for information and entertainment purposes only, we are recommending NOTHING here - so should you flip out and die, get arrested, get kicked out of school, etc. - DON'T BLAME US! (see: disclaimer)
    You are ultimately responsible for yourself, okay? If anyone should be sued, it should be you (or your parents)



    TELL US WHAT YOU WANT !
    Can you contribute something to terrify and sicken other college derelicts?
    We have very low standards, we'll put up almost anything twisted. Send EMail to:
    blurstaff@blurofinsanity.com


    (these would have been very patriotic if we hadn't stolen them)

    Disclaimer!: This site is for entertainment purposes only. Most features are parodies.
    The opinions expressed on this site may or may not be our opinions.
    Information provided may be dangerous to your health.
    No warranties or guarantees are expressed or implied.
    Sorry, but because all lawyers are scum we are forced to write this stuff.
    Copyright ©2007 Blur Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.


    THE CURRENT WEATHER MAP!
    Updated with irritating frequency from the The Weather Channel.
    The most boring, awful channel on cable!
    2007 NOTE: The "powers that be" at the weather channel must have read what our opinion was about
    their "on-air" weather geeks because they NOW have some strangely hot weather women.

    And we mean really "strangely" hot. The blonde weekday morning woman has a giant head,
    and talks with a slight speech impediment. But she is weirdly attractive. And the Asian female on the weekend
    mornings acts like she is on crystal meth. But at least they don't appear to be the aftermath some evil genetic lab experiment
    gone wrong. So we can now look at them - even though their forecasts are, as usual, just plain wrong.

    !
    This map is only thing of any worth that they provide. And because they are so inaccurate we are stealing it!


    THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE OF THE BLUR OF INSANITY


    We are now an official 'pro-condom' site!
    (we still hates condoms, but the idea of having a 'disease' is unpleasant!)

    We are also completely pro dental dams!

    This our special friend!
    (okay, we need help...)