1.Drunk on Harley
2. Drug Info
3. Penis Chart
4. Shuttle Transcript
5. Bong Design
6. Hangover Cures
7. Dr. Zaius-Advice
8. PlayboyTV Sucks
9. Miss BlurofInsanity
10. Who We Are
WE ARE BACK! And NO LONGER WITHOUT CLOTHES! This is a "good" thing.
THE NEW MISSION in BAGHDAD!(RIDICULOUSLY OLD FEATURE)
HEROIN COCAINE MAKEOVER!
BLUR DVD THREAT GROWS!
Miss BLUR of INSANITY
THE BLUR OF INSANITY MOVIE!!
Yes, it is now available on DVD we are shamelessly promoting it! Here is a page of information not just on the movie but how this all happened and why. This feature could also be titled "What the hell is the Blur of Insanity, who took all the LSD and came up with that website? Read The Blur of Insanity Story!
MISS BLUR OF INSANITY
Polar bears look at Miss Blur with envy, wishing they has been able to store up enough corpulent tissue for winter hibernation ! Click here!
SCARY BUT FASCINATING SCREENSHOT of THE BLUR OF INSANITY
This is a screenshot of the monitor on the editing machine while we were editing "reel#5" of the movie. Both educational and perplexing! CLICK HERE
WEB IDEAS IN BAD TASTE!
Sometimes we make true errors in judgment. Like the news story we ran about NYC being nuked by a small atomic bomb (we yanked it after a few hours). Perhaps that was a 'bad' idea. Well we have a place for that stuff. CLICK HERETO SEE BAD IDEAS!
Here's the latest Quicktime plug-in (this plug-in doesn't bite, as it plays just about every format (mpeg, avi, wav, etc. worth having anyway. And Reaplayer is the absolute worst:
CLICK HERE for QUICKTIME PLUG-IN MAC &WINDOWS
THE BLUR OF INSANITY FEATURE FILM PAGE
This is the page where there is info on the feature film. We also plan to have a very decadent party which will go on for about three days starting in New York City and ending up in Amsterdam (we'll have to board a jet midway through the party). We'll have a way for many of you to go to this sick mess. We may even invite some lucky BATF agents (if they are nice to us - and ignore the many laws of nature that will be broken at the party). As a prize, we'll give them beautiful actresses & maybe even a speaking role in the next movie!
The incredibly out-of-date STATUS of the FILM ! ( boy did we forget to update this page!)
Here are the main characters in the film. In this shot they want to kill the Director for making them wear mud-makeup (mud makeup is actually just, well....... mud). See the anger in their faces for yourselves!
There are really only 2 worth playing. One is simple and the other takes a bit more effort - decide which to play by how bored you are.
You drank too much (as usual) and you wake up feeling like you fell down 4 flights of stairs. Death seems a better alternative. Well we have even more new hangover cures that will allow you to live again!
THE DRUG INFO PAGE
So we updated a lot of stuff. The Drug Info Page is revamped with new and exciting chemicals! We also warn you about the dangers of drugs (like we were your Mom). Remember - if you are dead from drugs (or are too stoned) you will have a hard time filling in the order form for the DVD. You might mistakenly order "The Blue Lagoon" which, though similar, is not the same movie! Do we promote drugs? Our lawyers say no!
Bongs are your friends. Oddly (or maybe not) this is one of the most popular pages here!
CHEATING (Includes: 9 TERM PAPERS! These are recent and each received between an A+ and a B! Most have footnotes, etc. ) You have to get out of school somehow - without being kicked out for lousy grades. DO you have any idea what your Professors have been saying all semester? No. And why should you? They are all losers who failed at life, which is why they became Professors in the first place..
WHY COLLEGE IS
A WASTE OF TIME.
"Those who can do!
Those who can't teach!"
Though you are probably already aware of this, we thought we might reinforce that sneaking suspicion that you are wasting vast sums of money paying the salaries of Professors who have failed in the "real" world. So if they failed out there, how are they supposed to teach you how to succeed?? Read more! Click here!
THE FRESHMAN CHECKLIST
There are things freshmen need to bring with them that will help them make the most of their college experience. Click here to check it out.
SUMMER JOBS - ALWAYS KEY TO A GOOD SUMMER VACATION
Okay, we can't guarantee you the job on your right. We did this ourselves and it was great! What we can sort-of guarantee is that you can avoid flipping burgers. We have techniques for acquiring the more sought after summer jobs, plus suggestions for great jobs you may never have even heard of. Also suggestions for jobs that will both pay you, and possibly make it possible for you to have a future after college!
CLICK HERE FOR SUMMER JOBS
SPRING BREAK 2001 - (UPDATE NEVER CAME FOR 2002 - we were lazy!)
After the depressing nightmare known as Valentine's Day the most important thing to do is go on Spring Break. We highly recommend going somewhere warm and really far away - who wants to go home and stare at Mom and Dad?! The Blur of Insanity's Cal Hanson looks into the best spots for Spring Break and picks the top two for this year. Be aware that MTV will be at one of these spots - and we want you to annoy them. Do we care that MTV will be angry with us? Nope!
THE HARLEY TRIP FROM HELL
(or "we drank too much and smoked dope and drove Harleys at 90 mph")
We honestly suggest you never do this, frankly we thought we were going to die. Peer pressure made us not say anything to each other about just how stupid being completely wasted and riding at high speed on motorcycles that are barely controllable and weigh close to a ton! CLICK HERE to see the photos of those who are truly insane.
ALASKA AIR CRASH RECORDING
NEVER BEFORE PUBLIC !
Now this is pretty damn scary. We got this from an exclusive source. This is from the control tower tape. You need Quicktime to hear this (did we mention that we HATE realplayer?). Eerie, scary, and a Blur of Insanity exclusive!
CLICK HERE TO BE SCARED
(we have a link to download quicktime on the page)
SPACE SHUTTLE CHALLENGER
It blew up. Now hear what the crew said about it as they fell for twenty miles (hint: they weren't too happy). Truly Frightening!
Yes, we have a horoscope page (since all the other big useless sites have one, we decided to make our own - and it's 100% accurate). We aren't sure why. But we were amused for almost a whole hour by the idea of having a horoscope section - so here it is!
THE 7 DEADLY SINS OF GILLIGAN
We realized that people like this one, but we moved it off the main page. So look and see why the Island Paradise was really Dante's Inferno!
OJ's work on Ron Goldman
Police Photo. Not for the squeamish.
OJ's work on Nicole
Police Photo. What OJ does when angry.
Humorous, and Weird things
The contents of a college room. A girlfriend translator, etc.
LET DR. ZAIUS HELP DESTROY YOUR LOVE LIFE!
Dr. Zaius has an iMac at his house in Ape City, and is willing to use his superior intellect to completely ruin your love life! This new 'featurette' is in anticipation of Valentine's Day (aka Flower Shop Blackmail Day). Ask Dr. Zaius almost any question. The best replies will be posted on Dr. Zaius's page. What will Dr. Zaius say? We have no clue. CLICK HERE TO GO TO DR. ZAIUS' PAGE
SPRING SEX GUIDE
This is a guide to getting over. Will it help you? Who can tell. If you play online games and consider yourself a 'dungeon master'- probably not. If you only spend half your time playing online games there may still be hope. Click here - because you must.
HUMAN PENIS LENGTH CHART
Here it is! Newly updated with more unique and odd information that shines the light on flaccid facts and engorges your mind with the truth! (Happy Adjective Day!). Should you order a DVD because of this? Your genitalia say "YES!" CLICK HERE TO SEE THE CHART
Miss BLUR OF INSANITY!
Time for love! Our Lovely Miss Blur will set your heart beating so fast that it is likely you will have a stroke. And that would be fortunate - as that will be the only way to be free from the image about to be burned into your retinas!!
HONEST GUIDE TO ROMANCE !
What is really going on with the sexes? Why does dating blow? What the hell do women want, and for that matter, what the hell do men want. Well, in true Blur of Insanity form, we'll tell you the truth. This is no useless Vogue/Cosmopolitan/Esquire type lying article. We'll tell you bluntly what the situation. Our overall opinion? If you want companionship, buy a dog.
PLAYBOY-TV, a cable station which gives the same feeling you'd get going to a smelly, sticky old porn theater! Their original programming is so lame as to be an embarrassment. The most retarded is this show Night Calls where they put two stupid women on the phone talking to people at home whacking off in front of their TV's. If you wondered whether western civilization is in freefall.. this cable station answers with a resounding... 'Yes!' Note to Hugh Hefner - time to die already. Anyway we watched some of this stuff and let you know how we felt about it!
CLICK HERE TO READ OUR ATTACK!
Your odds of getting the 'nasty' sex disease! Find out if you will find strange and exciting cancers all over your body!
VALENTINE'S DAY/VENEREAL DISEASE INFO-
If you are boning rude disgusting slags, or if after a few drinks you end up waking up in mysterious bedrooms, you will at some point gain a disease. Even if it's only "Crabs." Now when you're wondering what the hell is going on in your "private area," you can know for sure! Happy Valentine's Day!
FAKE ID IS ILLEGAL (and CRUCIAL) - Of COURSE, you'll need a good fake ID (for entertainment an novelty purposes only, of course.) This is not about getting a fake ID for anything illegal... Click here to read about it.
Q:MP3 & NAPSTER. IS DOWNLOADING MUSIC A CRIME?
A: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
(NEW IMPROVED) Don't let the news media or 'Lars' fool you about Napster being dead! The cat is out of the bag on downloading music. There are many different ways to get it (can you say, OpenNap servers?). And we will help you! And why will we help you? We can say with certainty that just about every single person in the music industry is a scumbag. They are some of the lowest forms of human life (that is - except for the music company people we deal with!). In our opinion you couldn't pick a better group of people to screw over. So we are encouraging you to never, ever pay for a CD from one of the bigger labels- if it says Time-Warner on it, definitely don't ever pay for it! We suggest that you show your younger siblings how to download MP3 immediately so that the segment of people who might even think to buy any Brittany Spears or N'Sync CD's does not - which will result in less marketing money for those irritating groups. And maybe some of the smaller labels will actually succeed in getting better music out to you. This section is all about how to get that music, never pay a dime, and not to ever, ever, ever feel even the slightest bit guilty! CLICK HERE TO GET ALL THE INFO YOU NEED!
The MP3 Section is revamped with links to software so you can download free music. The money you save on just one Metallica CD is reason enough to buy a Blur of Insanity DVD! (my, we are shameless whores, aren't we!)
MOVIE PROP LINKS!
These are links that have absolutely, positively nothing to do with us! These are high resolution pictures that bouncers can use to see if an ID is fake or not. Why are we doing this. Because we get so much damn e-mail it's sickening.
BEAT A SPEEDING TICKET
Ways to beat a speeding ticket, plus ways not to get one in the first place.
Indispensable research tirelessly compiled by the Blur Staff.
(Includes: 9 TERM PAPERS! These are recent and each received between an A+ and a B! Most have footnotes, etc. ) You have to get out of school somehow - without being kicked out for lousy grades. DO you have any idea what your Professors have been saying all semester? No. And why should you? They are all losers who failed at life, which is why they became Professors in the first place..
SICKLINKS has been fully revamped (and some of the links there are actually known to work)
SickLinks are now newer - and sicker. Our reasons for adding a link to any page is related only to our own personal amusement. Our standards are, frankly, unexplainable. But our mental illness is your amusement!
THERE SHOULD BE COUNTER HERE... but there isn't. HAVE YOU TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THIS SITE?
YOU SHOULD - IT WILL MAKE US ENORMOUS!
THE NOT REALLY NEW, EASILY WINNABLE CONTEST!
(click here for the contest page)
WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNER - Steve from Texas!
and our SECOND WINNER - !!!!!!
-WIN A BLUR OF INSANITY STAFF HAT - THE CONTEST IS SIMPLE: PUT THE WORDS "THE BLUR OF INSANITY" ON A LARGE (HUGE?) SIGN IN SOME PROMINENT PUBLIC PLACE - TAKE A PHOTO OF IT - SEND IT TO US WITH YOUR ADDRESS - AND YOU GET A HAT!!! (no photoshop fakes accepted)
WHAT YOU WON'T FIND HERE... EVER!
Updates that are on time!
Pictures of the private parts of the film crew.
A clear idea of what this site is about.
Anything that makes much sense.
BOOKMARK us! Find out if we get tossed in jail!
(We have gotten our first call from Federal Agents. This is no longer so amusing to us.)
WE ARE YOUR CENTRAL SOURCE OF SICK COLLEGE INFORMATION.***HAPPY THOUGHT OF THE MONTH***
Maybe someday we will get a moments peace!.
Do you like these Flag pictures? We stole them from the White House website!
(your tax dollars at work!)
NOTICE: This site and its providers are not promoting any activities found on this site. This site is for information and entertainment purposes only, we are recommending NOTHING here - so should you flip out and die, get arrested, get kicked out of school, etc. - DON'T BLAME US! (see: disclaimer)You are ultimately responsible for yourself, okay? If anyone should be sued, it should be you (or your parents)
TELL US WHAT YOU WANT !
Can you contribute something to terrify and sicken other college derelicts?
We have very low standards, we'll put up almost anything twisted. Send EMail to:
(these would have been very patriotic if we hadn't stolen them)
Disclaimer!: This site is for entertainment purposes only. Most features are parodies.
The opinions expressed on this site may or may not be our opinions.
Information provided may be dangerous to your health.
No warranties or guarantees are expressed or implied.
Sorry, but because all lawyers are scum we are forced to write this stuff.
Copyright ©2007 Blur Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
THE CURRENT WEATHER MAP!
Updated with irritating frequency from the The Weather Channel.
The most boring, awful channel on cable!
2007 NOTE: The "powers that be" at the weather channel must have read what our opinion was about
their "on-air" weather geeks because they NOW have some strangely hot weather women.
And we mean really "strangely" hot. The blonde weekday morning woman has a giant head,
and talks with a slight speech impediment. But she is weirdly attractive. And the Asian female on the weekend
mornings acts like she is on crystal meth. But at least they don't appear to be the aftermath some evil genetic lab experiment
gone wrong. So we can now look at them - even though their forecasts are, as usual, just plain wrong.
This map is only thing of any worth that they provide. And because they are so inaccurate we are stealing it!
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE OF THE BLUR OF INSANITY
We are now an official 'pro-condom' site!
(we still hates condoms, but the idea of having a 'disease' is unpleasant!)
We are also completely pro dental dams!
This our special friend!
(okay, we need help...)