(Post Fetal-Alcohol Syndrome)
NOTE: This is practical advice given by one who has spent years surviving fairly brutal hangovers.
One thing is key. Prevention will save you better than any other thing. There is not enough to be said about this. Proper prevention will save you from the worst symptoms.
Before you go to bed take 2 Advil (or any headache pill that is made of Ibuprofen). This will save you every time. Do not even waste your time with Aspirin. And do not take Tylenol. Tylenol will destroy your liver if combined with alcohol- no lie! (see article below)
In your list of hangover cures you mention taking aspirin, ibuprofen, or acetominophen. One thing you REALLY ought to be aware of --- if you plan on living very long -- is that acetominophen in combination with alcohol does HORRENDOUS liver damage. Alcohol alone damages the liver; and acetominophen (Tylenol ie.) does a little damage to the liver; but if you mix the two, the damage you incur is EXPONENTIAL. I'm sure you can find plenty of medical journals to calloborate this if you want to. This made news a while back. You can literally wreck your liver in a very short time if you mix Tylenol with alcohol.
Tylenol sucks anyway. Ibuprofen is the best. Case closed.
NOTE: if you forget to take the advil the night before you will wake up in a state where anything you swallow (especially pills) will make you puke, you'll never be able get that blessed Advil relief. You will have suffer through at least 2-3 hours of cold sweats and headaches. And that is no way to spend your weekend.
THE BLOODY MARY (the ultimate)
There is no substitue for a Bloody Mary. Ounce for ounce the curative factors involved in this drink are astonishing. There are not enough good things that can be said about this drink in curing a hangover.
And honestly, if you hate tomato juice, don't worry, I DESPISE tomato juice, it generally makes me sick thinking about it. BUT TRUST ME. Once you add the other ingredients it becomes a different substance, which you will really love! That is a science fact!
It is the ultimate weapon in any fight against hangover pain. The only problem is you will become progressively more useless as you drink more and more of them, but then you weren't going to do anything anyway. And certainly, if you had that hangover still you'd be lying in bed will the blinds closed!
2 oz Vodka
6 oz Tomato Juice (NOTE: if you can find "Beefamato," use it- this will make the ultimate Bloody Mary. So good you will be amazed actually)
4 tsp Worcestershire Sauce (this may be the secret 'x' ingredient)
2-3 drops tabasco sauce
A celery stick should be jammed into this thing also - you can consider the celery stick 'breakfast.'
You will feel better in about 15 minutes.
THE GREASY BURGER & MILKSHAKE
This one works like a charm for most people. It also tastes really good. We aren't going to tell you how to prepare this because it should be pretty self-explanatory. Even to the stupid. Best choice is to go out to a "Diner" for this.
The Milkshake is the really amazing final touch. It will calm the stomach and relax you. Many stories of success with this combo. It also taste really good. Remember that Beef is your friend.
NEW ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER
This one may seem a bit strange but let me just say that it does work. That is a 100% guarantee. If you can't get out to a place the makes this stuff, just buy the Campbell's Chunky Soup version. Add some pepper (if you like pepper). Eat it. Then fall back asleep. You will awake in an hour feeling better than you could possibly imagined.
Note: On the east coast of the United States you can go to this place called "Friendly's." They have the best hangover combo, which is the following 1. New England Clam Chowder 2. "A Big Beef" 3. Chocolate Fribble." It works - in fact - it saved my college career (in drinking).